


Mirror, Mirror, On the Wall

by Zara_Zara



Series: Lawlight Week 2020 [3]
Category: Death Note (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Light Is Not Kira, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, BSL - British Sign Language, Fluff, JSL - Japanese Sign Language, M/M, mirror soulmates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-26
Updated: 2020-04-26
Packaged: 2021-03-01 16:33:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23850115
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zara_Zara/pseuds/Zara_Zara
Summary: For 10 years, L only ever saw himself in his mirror. This was never any great concern to him. Largely because he was too young to care about mature things like soulmates and true love. But it didn’t mean he was not curious to see who was supposed to be on the other side of his mirror.
Relationships: L/Yagami Light
Series: Lawlight Week 2020 [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1715836
Comments: 24
Kudos: 396





	Mirror, Mirror, On the Wall

**Author's Note:**

> This is for the 3rd prompt of Lawlight week called Ghosts/ Kami. Idk how I got mirrors from this.

For 10 years, L only ever saw himself in his mirror. This was never any great concern to him. Largely because he was too young to care about mature things like soulmates and true love. But it didn’t mean he was not curious to see who was supposed to be on the other side of his mirror. He wanted a friend he could look at as well, a friend he knew was made just for him. He often felt jealous when he’d see the other children smiling and giggling at the mirrors they used to silently communicate with their soulmates. He would often try and peek over their shoulder to see who they were looking at but all he would see was the reflection of the child holding the mirror as they smiled at something he couldn’t see. 

By choice, there weren’t many things that would remind him of his mother. But his mirror was one of the only things he could look at and think of her in a way that didn’t hurt. He remembered her telling him with a glassy-eyed and dreamy smile that one day he’d look in his mirror at the same time that his soulmate looked in theirs, and nothing would ever be the same. She said the mirrors were meant to show people their other halves. He remembered her smile had been beautiful at that moment.

“I’m not broken, though,” He had said somewhat defensively. And she had ruffled a hand through his hair with a bittersweet smile and said, “You’ll understand when you’re older.” He hated when she said that, but she surprised him with a cookie and he had forgiven her.

Sometimes he’d forget about his mirror and his soulmate. He’d stow the mirror somewhere under a pile of papers or clothes so that he wouldn’t have to look at it and suspect that there wasn't anyone at all on the other side of that thing. As he grew older he found the mirror a waste of time to spend gazing into when he could be solving cases or chasing leads. One time he even asked Wammy why he had not taken their mirrors away so that they wouldn't be distracted, and he had told him that they couldn’t do such a thing because it would threaten their health. He told him that people have died from being deprived of their mirrors for too long. L dropped the subject. 

Sometimes, he’d stare at his mirror when it was time for bed and all the other orphans were quietly asleep and he’d think of his soulmate and wonder how they were meant to be his other half. Did his other half mean that they were meant to be his exact opposite? L knew he was a genius, so did that mean that his soulmate was an idiot? That thought filled him with pure horror. All the other children in the orphanage were smart like him, but that didn’t mean they couldn't be stupid at times, and L had no paitience for foolishness. Or perhaps they were his opposite in a different way. L was pale, black haired, and had gray eyes. Was his soulmate supposed to be dark, light haired, and light eyed? He’d never seen anyone like that before but it didn’t rule it out as a possibility. During these musings the lonely part of him concluded that it didn’t matter what they looked like or how smart they were, he just wanted to know there was someone out there for him. 

***

The first time he saw his soulmate, L was 10.

He had not looked in the mirror for over five months due to a healthy dose of stubbornness and his busy schedule. It was 1 in the morning and L couldn’t sleep. He wanted to finish a case that he sensed was just a couple questions away from being solved but he’d been feeling an itch to look in the mirror for a long while. He wasn’t ever good at denying himself things in general, but when it came to the mirror he either banished it from his consciousness or obsessed over it for hours. 

Finding the mirror was a simple matter of unearthing it from where he’d kept it hidden. L had brushed the thin film of dust off the back of its simple silver backing, turned it around, and nearly dropped it in shock. 

Previously, where L had only seen himself in the mirror for years, L saw the round face of a child and a pair of brown eyes that widened in horror to see him. The kid’s mouth dropped open in surprise and L watched as the child's face paled in the sunlight of wherever he was. L took in as many details as he could before the mirror moved as if it were being lifted out of his soulmate’s hands and then L was left with his own reflection.

L shut his mouth which had fallen open in surprise and he dropped his mirror on his bed as his heart thundered so strongly he considered needing medical attention. He couldn’t believe it, L brought his whole fist to his mouth and grinned so hard that it brought tears to his eyes. 

He started to wonder what sort of information he could gather about his soulmate from that brief glimpse he caught of them. But first he had to wonder why they looked so frightened to see him. It was actually vaguely insulting until he looked at himself in the mirror and was torn between laughing and crying about the state his soulmate had seen him in. For, a bright beam of moonlight pierced through his bedroom window and highlighted his pale skin to the point where it looked ghostly. On top of that, the light highlighted his large eyes and the bags that hung under them to make him look ghoulish. If he saw himself for the first time he would've been frightened as well. It was amusing but also disappointing in a way; first impressions mattered after all. And he wondered if his soulmate would’ve lingered behind their mirror for longer if he had looked differently. 

L wasn’t in the habit of thinking of things he couldn’t change for too long, and he returned to thinking about the things that he could reasonably gather from what he had seen in the mirror. For starters, he was surprised to see how young his soulmate was. They looked around five or six due to the roundness of their face and the missing front tooth he spotted when they opened their mouth. He couldn’t tell if they were a boy or a girl because of the long auburn hair that fell over their forehead and curled behind their ears, but that didn’t matter as much to him as wondering where they were from. Even if their hair color was highly unusual for the region, his soulmate seemed to hold east Asian features, and that narrowed L's information on where they lived. 

L chewed on his thumb and picked up his mirror again; he saw himself, but he resolved to be more diligent in checking his mirror every so often during his all-nighters. He wouldn’t wear any nicer clothes but he’d turn on a lamp at the very least. 

***

It took several more years until L ever saw anything from his mirror again. 

He’d been seventeen and it happened not too late in the night. During that time, L had gotten in the habit of leaving a lamp on while he worked at night. It was only 11pm at night and he’d just put the final pieces together on a tricky case that exhausted him more than he’d anticipated. It was earlier than usual for him to go to sleep but he was _very_ tired.

He’d been planning on crawling to bed or just sleeping in his chair when his hand had brushed against the cool edge of the mirror tucked away under his pillow. Some brilliant part of his brain decided to pull it out instead of leaving it hidden like he usually did and he blankly blinked at himself for a number of seconds. He didn't feel anything because he hasn’t expected anything to see anything for years, but he still waited until a couple of minutes passed by anyway. With a small sigh L silently resolved to tuck his mirror back under his pillow for another three months or so when he was suddenly not looking at himself anymore. 

Once again, L was staring at his soulmate. Those brown eyes L had nearly forgotten the shade of blinked in surprise at him but they didn’t widen in horror like last time. His soulmate looked much older than when he saw him five years ago. His face had lengthened somewhat, and he wore a button-up shirt paired with a tie reminiscent of a school uniform. His---L could tell he was a he now---hair cut even remained the same from when L last saw him. But part of L was uncomfortable with the reminder that his soulmate was much younger than himself. Maybe eleven or twelve? L reasoned that not all soulmate matches were meant to be romantic. Maybe this boy was meant to be his soulmate in friendship not love.

L emerged out of his thoughts when he noticed the boy mouthing something. L leaned closer to the mirror as if to hear what he was saying but his room was silent. L shook his head; disappointed to not hear anything regardless of the fact that it was impossible to speak through mirrors. 

But an idea occurred to him, he propped his mirror in front of him, and scrambled for a piece of paper to scribble: “Hello.” He lifted the paper in front of his chest and tried to give a smile no matter how awkward and self-conscious he suddenly felt.

The boy looked surprised to see what L had done and then he copied L and wrote: “Hello.” He gave a rather awkward smile himself but it was nevertheless charming. L was also somewhat relieved to see he wasn’t the only one nervous about what they were doing. 

“What is your name?” L wrote next and watched as the boy’s eyebrows furrowed to see it. He gave L a somewhat sad look and shook his head slowly. _He doesn’t speak English._ L suddenly felt like an idiot---which didn’t happen too often. English may be in the curriculum of many international schools but that didn’t mean that this boy would elect to study it or would have had the means to. L's self-chastisement didn’t last long when the boy lifted his notebook again and L had never been more thankful for the life he’s lived and the education he’s had. The boy had written in Japanese, a language L had picked up a couple years ago due to a string of cases he had taken in the country. 

In neat writing, his notebook read: “I’m Raito Yagami. I’m sorry, I’m not familiar with English. Do you speak Japanese?”

L recalled his knowledge of the language and wrote, “Yes, I can.” He chewed on his thumb and then almost shyly added, “It’s nice to meet you. I’m happy I haven’t frightened Raito-kun, again.”

When Raito saw what he’d written he raised his eyebrows and quickly wrote, “You startled me.”

“I apologize for that,” L tried to hide an amused smile behind his thumb but wasn’t successful.

Raito scowled, “I was just five. God knows what you were doing when I saw you. It looked like you had ghost makeup on; you were so pale.”

“Tragically, that’s just the natural pallor of my skin.”

It looked like Raito was fighting a smile, “I can tell.”

“But isn’t Raito-kun glad I have a lamp on for him now?”

“That light is for me?” Raito snorted; L could tell even if he couldn’t hear him.

“Yes.”

Unexpectedly, Raito blushed very slightly and then bent his head to write something, “What is your name?”

That gave L some pause. He was not supposed to disclose his name for security purposes and for his own safety. No one else could see him through the mirror except Raito, but if he told him his name, and Raito connected him with his position as the world’s greatest detective, then there could be some problems. Unless… L wrote: “L.”

Raito raised his brows and said something he couldn’t hear, but he seemed very passionate about it. When he realized L couldn’t hear what he said he wrote: “No way, you’re joking. You don’t honestly expect me to believed that.”

“I don’t," L kept his face impassive. 

Raito looked impatient and L absently wondered what his voice sounded like, “Then what’s your real name?” 

“I can’t tell you. It’s embarrassing”

“It can't be any more embarrassing than my own. Mine means light.”

“I assure you it is, my name has brought me a lot of grief in my life. Besides, your name is perfectly fine.”

Raito did not look impressed with his answer and wrote, “Where do you live?”

“England. Yourself?”

“Japan.”

He watched Raito mentally calculate the time difference like L was doing, “It’s very late over there. Shouldn’t you be asleep?”

“I’m a night-owl.”

“I believe it; you look like one.”

“You wound me.”

Raito rolled his eyes, he was about to write something but then he noticed something and said, “I need to get going now. School. Will you be back again tomorrow?”

L paused for a long time and thought it over. He then said, “I’ll try.”

Light nodded and then L only saw himself in his mirror. 

***

Raito hardly believed he met his soulmate yesterday morning, and he called himself _L_ of all things. How egotistical. Raito highly doubted his soulmate was on the same intellectual level as the real L, but he wouldn't be disappointed if he was. In fact, Light would be ecstatic if his soulmate were another genius like him. It was kind of hard to gauge his soulmate's intelligence due to how briefly they had spoken, but he supposed he had more time to figure that out when they spoke again in the morning.

When it came time for their meeting, he was admittedly surprised to see him again. He half-expected for his soulmate to ghost him again due to how it had taken them years to see each other again. The last time they had seen each other through their mirrors, Raito had been very young and thought he’d seen a ghost or a ghoul. He had cried because he thought that he was destined to be with a monster, and his parents had been so confused when he kept telling them he saw a demon. Even if he later reasoned that he probably saw his poor soulmate at a bad time, he had still been unwilling to look in the mirror in the event that he hadn’t been mistaken. 

Upon seeing his soulmate again, L was strange and familiar all at once. He had the pale skin and big dark eyes that Raito remembered from his childhood, but last time that was _all_ Raito noticed. Yesterday morning, he was able to see more than that. His soulmate was very strange with his mess of black hair and tendency to bite at his nails. Even his eyes were pretty strange, no light seemed to enter them even when a lamp was so clearly positioned in front of him. But even with all this strangeness, some part of Raito was still drawn to him. He wanted to know more about his soulmate; wanted to know his likes and dislikes; find out why that boy was his other half; and discover his real name, no matter how embarrassing it was. 

Raito did some school work while he waited by his mirror for L to appear. Raito had come up with some ideas for them to communicate better than through writing on their notebooks. He thought he’d suggest exchanging phone numbers and speaking through there, or if that wasn’t available, learning sign language. Honestly, he was leaning towards the latter because learning a new language sounded at once more useful for life in general and more interesting, but he’d see what L thought. When L suddenly appeared Raito dropped his pen and greeted him aloud, and then remembering that they couldn’t hear each other he showed L his plan for more efficient communication.

They ended up deciding on learning Japanese Sign Language since Raito still had yet to learn English. They ended up picking up the language pretty fast, and within weeks, the two of them were rapidly signing deep conversations of politics and philosophy at one another. Raito discovered that it was very fun to speak to L. They couldn't talk all the time, but they spoke to each other at least a couple times a week. They even pulled out the chess board on a few memorable occasions. 

Raito liked L’s hands and the way his long pale fingers shaped certain words. He also liked the way he signed Raito’s name. L used the BSL version to sign his name by raising his right hand up to the side of his head and fanned his fingers in and out as a reflection of Raito’s name: light. It wasn’t just about the way his hands looked while signing Raito’s name, it was the way L always mouthed it while doing so, saying Raito’s name even though he couldn’t hear him. But, the voice he’d given L over the months they’d spoken to each other whispered it to the back of his mind and it made him feel special. 

Raito also used BSL for L’s name because there was no L in JSL. He signed it much too fast and always felt the absence of L’s real name. 

Their conversations passed like this sporadically at best for a couple of years until it didn’t. 

One day, Raito waited a whole two hours for when L said he’d try and meet him but he didn’t see L through his mirror at all. Light was bothered by this but then he remembered that the other boy said that he was going to be busy with something. So, he gave him the benefit of the doubt and planned to wait for him again the following morning. However, the same thing happened the next morning, and the next morning. 

By the end of the week Raito was furious and betrayed. By the end of the month he was sad. And by the end of the year he was hurt but determined to forget he had ever met his soulmate at all. 

***

Once again, years passed by with neither of them catching the other through their mirrors. That was until the biggest case L had ever taken brought him to Japan. 

L hadn’t been planning on meeting Raito at all on his visit to Japan. But the young man, no longer a boy, was determined to prove himself a capable detective by conducting his own investigation of the Kira case. At first, his actions had casted a light of suspicion on him due to the fact that he hacked into his father’s work computer to access police files, and also for the way that his profile would’ve matched the killer to a T. But with a certain amount of great relief, L had to shift his theory onto another prime suspect which ultimately left him free to extend Raito an invitation to join his Kira taskforce. 

If Raito accepted his offer, not only would he be protected in the Kira task force headquarters, but L would be able to see him again. In his life, L has felt guilty about a great many things, and his broken promise to Raito was one of the biggest of them all. He had truly meant to talk to the boy again, but a number of factors restrained him from doing so. One of the biggest of them had been their age difference. Based on the time that they had talked, L had been able to tell that Raito was an exceptionally bright boy and he felt uncomfortable when their age difference suddenly became clearer when L had turned into a legal adult and Raito was still just a teenager. L hunted criminals, rapists, and murderers for a living and he’d be just as bad as them if he had let his feelings for Raito develop any further than affection. He couldn’t take that chance. And to ease his conscience he had cut contact with the boy. Perhaps he should’ve given him prior notice before L well and truly ghosted him, but he had thought he was doing the right thing at the time. 

Even if he stood by his decision, L still felt a great amount of anxiety about meeting Raito again after all these years. He’d seen pictures of how he’d grown, and found that Raito was every inch the definition of his namesake: light. The eighteen year-old aged very well and grew into his looks that had always been present. His already charming smile matured very handsomely. His skin turned golden from years of outdoor activity and his baby fat had shed into lean muscle. But even through all these changes, his hair cut remained endearingly the same. 

When Raito arrived with his father to meet the task-force, L had anxiously awaited his arrival in a chair that faced the door, so that he’d immediately see him as soon as he entered the room. 

**

When Raito entered the Kira control room of the Kira task force's Headquarters, the last thing he expected to see was his soulmate. There were other people in the room, but they hardly mattered. Admittedly, he’d always pictured L, the greatest detective in the world, to look like _his_ L. But he never dared think that they were one and the same. The thought did cross his mind once or twice, but he always just labeled it as baseless speculation entirely founded on the respect and crush he had on his soulmate.

Now, being encountered with the truth of his soulmate’s true identity and the man himself, Raito felt the breath get knocked out of him. L was crouched in his typical weird fashion in a seat, with his stupid messy black hair, wide dark eyes, and piercing gaze. He blinked at Raito and simply stated, “Welcome, Light-kun, to the Kira task force headquarters. I am pleased you have accepted our invitation. I believe you will be a great asset to the team.” 

Raito was momentarily taken aback by finally hearing L’s voice after longing to hear it for years. It sent shivers down his spine from how deep it was. But that was quickly overshadowed when a great revival of all those years of betrayal and anger and hurt erupted within him. Raito advanced on him, “Damn you! Is that all you have to say for yourself?” He heard Soichiro gasp in surprise and ask him what he was saying but Raito was too blinded by his fury. He towered over L and glared at him accusingly, “Why did you stop talking to me?”

L’s infuriating blank expression remained as he unfolded out of his crouched position and slowly stood. And they would be of equal height, were it not for L’s truly horrendous posture. He eyed Raito with somber eyes and said, “I apologize for any disappointment I may have caused you,” a round of confused noises went around the room but they were ignored by the two young men. Raito’s breath hitched when L said, “I see that I have hurt you deeply, that was not my intention.”

“What was your intention then” Raito clenched his fists which L noticed; of course he did. 

“Although our conversations were innocent, I thought it was inappropriate to continue speaking to you after I legally became an adult,” L probably added that first part for the benefit of everyone awkwardly listening, “You were a minor, and I didn't think it was right for me to continue speaking to you so familiarly.”

Raito’s heart clenched, and much too soon Raito’s anger simmered away. He wanted to keep being angry but the embers has withered to practically nothing. 

Raito glanced around at their unwilling audience and was grateful when an older gentleman swooped into the room to politely herd them away. When they were gone, Raito relaxed a little but defensively crossed his arms regardless, “You should’ve told me. I had a right to know what you were planning on doing.”

L finally broke eye-contact and looked at his feet, “I know.”

“I thought you had died or something,” Well, not exactly. Raito did think that that was a possibility but he never truly entertained those thoughts for whatever reason. But he reasoned that it never hurt to exaggerate. 

There was a long pause before L said, “I’m sorry.”

Raito just stared at L until he looked at him again. He looked like he meant it; Raito uncrossed his arms, “It’s fine. Just don’t do it again.”

“Of course,” L stood a little straighter and brought a thumb to his mouth as they silently regarded each other for the first time in person. Raito didn’t quite know what to make of L, really. He was thinner than he had expected, and his hair somehow looked softer in person. There was also an undeniable power to his presence that Raito always sensed was there behind the mirror, but he was nevertheless surprised to see it confirmed in person. 

L seemed to be studying Raito the same way he himself was being studied, and Raito wondered what he saw. After the silence stretched for more than was typical in ordinary conversation, L said, “I must say I am pleased to have not startled Light-kun again.”

“Very funny, L," Raito deadpanned. 

L suddenly got a troubled look, “I must apologize again, Light-kun. But I need to ask you to address me as Ryuzaki while we are here in head quarters.”

“The mystery of your real name deepens.”

“You must understand, I am only asking you this for security purposes.”

Raito nodded and sighed, suddenly feeling tired, “Will I ever know your real name?”

“I will tell you, in time,” L slowly turned and then waited for Raito to follow, “For now, we have a case to solve.”

“Right,” Raito embarrassedly remembered he was here for a very serious reason.

They started to walk away to join the others in the other room when L asked Raito in a musing tone of voice, “What would Light-kun say if I said I would like to invite him for tea and cake tomorrow evening? I’d like to get better acquainted with him in-person.”

Raito brushed his arm against L’s and said, “I think I’d say yes.”

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> I feel like this was too sweet for them...oh well 
> 
> Thanks for reading! Please leave a comment if u liked!
> 
> Come find me at Tumblr @lightsredapple  
> X)


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